-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
cumulus
I think I'm learning to enjoy just a little more in the midst of realizing I have the inability to enjoy. I'm hoping that as I grow older and I live more and my life gets shorter I will learn to let go, like what you feel at the moment of drunken bliss. Not sickly bliss, the moments your heart teeters on happy. I sound like a fucking hippy, sorry readers. I'm making myself nauseous too, dont you worry.
There are these "cloudscapes", for lack of a better term, you can only see from the plane window. Just biomorphic forms stretching out and out, I began to see it as ice, as a solid staring long enough, and I thought maybe that's what Lapland is like... I've seen pictures.
I leaned over because for 4 hours I had some sort of physical contact with D through handholding as he was going through his own mental crisis, he closed his eyes before we took off and I saw a tear spill down his face. But I leaned over, maybe somewhere over Kansas, or whatever states are in the middle where on clear day looks like empty voids but I was able to just lean and gaze and I felt singular again. Though being flown in a Boeing with stale air, 0% humidity, and the smell of plane bathroom soap is your barrier to these heavens, the heavens exist and despite the feelings of discomfort through takeoff and landing I think being able to get a glimpse of it is well worth it. I wish everyone who has ever existed before the airplane was able see it.
7:18 p.m. - 2008-05-20
|
|
